"If you stop struggling, then you stop life."

Day 41:

I feel like I've been on the verge of tears for the last 48 hours and it seems like its getting harder and harder to hold my self together for me and Opeie. My mental health has really taken a beating over the last 2 years and it kind of feels like this whole thing is putting something into motion that I really want to try and avoid. Im a pretty sensitive guy so it was inevitable that I was going to feel like this but there are people in much worse positions than me and I find myself feeling really sad for them too, whoever they are. I'd love to be one of those people that can just switch off sometimes but my head is bustling with information and thoughts and I really struggle some days to slow it down. 

On top of all that I need a cuddle bad, I'm such an affectionate person and the lack of that is really affecting me on a level that I really wasn't expecting, what a mess. Anyway, to try and help me out of my funk today I painted a Rainbow Stag Beetle, which to be fair did the job for an hour or so. I seriously need to keep myself as busy as I can.

Stay safe all, and be kind to yourselves.